Domestic violence is a major problem for women - and men - and its effects are devastating. But a more subtle form of abuse is equally problematic, and its signs are more difficult to see than telltale bruises and black eyes. Emotional abuse is as painful as physical abuse, but the signs can be harder to detect. If you know the signs early on in the relationship, however, it can be a lot easier to dump the abuser than it would be after the relationship progresses. First, assess his feelings about previous relationships. If there's nothing at all he says that's nice about his exes, then that's a red flag. Subtle comparisons of how great you are to how horrible they were tell you he blames others for the smallest infractions - eventually, he'll start blaming you when he feels vulnerable. Take a look at his behavior toward others - does he treat those who he views as "beneath him" poorly, such as restaurant servers, cab drivers, sales associates, etc.?
If he takes every opportunity to berate those people for any small infraction, then it won't be long before the behavior carries over to you. Likewise, pay attention to how he treats and talks about his family members - those who are supposed to be near and dear should be treated at least with respect. The same goes for you - if you notice your man making disparaging remarks about you, then following them up by telling you not to have such thin skin or saying "just kidding," he probably isn't kidding. Undermining you with sarcasm is a similar warning sign - don't fall victim to his perceived wittiness. Being in love shouldn't mean withstanding emotional or physical abuse, so if you feel like those red flags are flying, then it's time to end it before it's too late.