"Forgive and forget" goes the old saying. But when you've been wronged, forgiving the person who hurt you is easier said than done. And it may even seem ludicrous to even consider allowing someone to "get away with" whatever transgression they committed against you. But when you consider the benefits that forgiveness brings to the person doing the forgiving, then you may just try to build a bridge and work to achieve the peace you – and the person who wronged you – need. Forgiveness involves the willingness to let go of resentment, anger and retaliation that you harbor when someone hurts you. Notice the word "forget" doesn't even have to be involved. The incident may leave an indelible impression, and that's OK most of the time. It's what you do with your negative emotions that matters most. When you remain unforgiving, for example, after a relationship betrayal, you may take those feelings of mistrust and anger into the next relationship you try to forge. Injecting that much toxic emotion can speed the destruction of the relationship.
Not being able to trust may mean losing connectedness with people and isolating yourself. MayoClinic.com researchers found that letting go of resentment makes for a healthier person who is less susceptible to depression, anxiety, substance abuse and high blood pressure. So forgiveness is good for your physical health as well. How do you go about it? Committing to forgive simply means you plan to change your feelings about the situation. Start by focusing on the effects not forgiving have had on you – has it held you back in other relationships? Is there anything to gain from holding a grudge? (Answer: No.) Consider the value of forgiveness and move away from your role as a victim. Being the person to forgive allows you to control the situation and gain power over it.