The death of a partner or spouse, whether sudden or anticipated, either due to the course of aging or illness, is a traumatic experience for those left behind. The emotions associated with the loss can be surprising, to say the least. Even if you were "prepared" for your partner to die, expect feelings of shock, fear and perhaps even relief. There's nothing you "should" be feeling at that time – loss is a unique experience for everyone, and no one undergoes it in exactly the same way. And returning to a new normal is an adjustment for everyone. Give yourself time to get to that place; again, it takes everyone differing amounts of time, and there's no correct way to get there. When death is the outcome of a terminal illness, spouses may have time to prepare and begin to transition to a life without their partner.

But even then, death can come as a terrible shock. One good way of moving on might be to settle any requests your partner made during his or her life. Execute a will, have the memorial service the partner requested or make peace with a contentious relative. It will bring you a little closure and help with the grieving process. If the loss was sudden, then it's much harder to overcome feelings of regret and even responsibility. It's common for those left behind to overanalyze the events leading up to the accident, heart attack or other cause of death, perhaps searching for precursors that would predict the death. It's important to move past the feelings of guilt and regret, and if you can't, then it may be time to see a grief counselor. Regardless of the cause of death, know that the stages of grief may not be linear, and the emotions may feel like a rollercoaster. The end goal is not to stop feeling grief altogether; it's to get to a place of acceptance.