Face it: Sometimes you just don't feel all that sexy. But regardless of the reasons why, sometimes it can be tough to get your groove back. So when you feel unsexy and don't have the urge to hop into bed with your significant other, what do you do? There are a lot of reasons you may not feel like having sex, and if you're like a lot of couples, you're the one with the headache, and he's the one begging for a little action. Many working women who have to juggle a job, kids and umpteen other things put sex last on the list of things to do at the end of a long day. But a lack of intimacy can be a relationship killer. We're not saying you should just lie there and take it - instead, try a little give and take. There's nothing sexier than feeling appreciated, and a great way for you both to get what you want is for him to lighten your load outside the bedroom. When he takes a couple of household tasks off your plate so you can have a little "me" time, then you're more amenable to his desires in bed.
Perhaps a tradeoff system would work for your relationship - he cleans the cat box for a week in exchange for fellatio, for example! Perhaps the sexual acts you trade for will get you in the mood. If you're not getting enough rest and not enough exercise, then it can affect your energy and libido. Sleep is important - and so is sex. So give it a chance - approach his advances with an open mind instead of going through the begging and refusal cycle, which is time you could be using to sleep! Do little things before bed that make you feel sexy, like taking a bubble bath with candles lit and slipping into something silky. No one feels sexy when they throw on an old t-shirt and plop in a bed with sheets that need washing, so pay attention to yourself and your surroundings. If all else fails, and the "too busy" excuse works its way in, then you and your spouse may literally need to schedule your lovemaking. It sounds unsexy, but if you know when you'll be having sexy time, then everything else can get done in a timely manner. Soon enough, it'll be something you look forward to and not just another item to cross off the to-do list.