Is He a Narcissist?

Does it seem like your relationship revolves around your partner, leaving you out in the cold? Is he distant much of the time, seeming to prefer his own misery to your company? It's possible your mate is a narcissist. Perhaps you think of a narcissist as someone who loves himself so much that there's no room for anyone else, and that's partially correct. The definition of a narcissist is someone who expects to be praised and acknowledged for accomplishments that don't warrant it. He's the guy who who's constantly talking about success, yet doesn't seem to experience much of it. He also expects a lot of attention from others – and when he doesn't get it, he blames others and projects his shortcomings onto them. Similarly, a narcissist downplays others' achievements to make them look less accomplished. In a relationship, he may make comments that cause you to feel less smart, less successful and simply a lesser person than him. Getting a narcissist to reveal his true feelings or any emotion at all can be a challenge.


He may view it as "weak." Sometimes, the stories he may reveal about his background may not add up – if you've met his highly dysfunctional family and he places them on a pedestal, watch out. Many narcissists idealize aspects of their lives that aren't perfect and paint a rosier picture than that which actually exists. When entering the relationship, narcissists may project an appearance of confidence and strength. They like to target potential partners who appear to lack self-confidence and may second guess themselves frequently. These "weaker" people allow narcissists to exert their will easier than someone who will stand up for herself. Once a relationship with a narcissist is over, the narcissist may tend to heap blame on the "weaker" partner, absolving himself of all responsibility and generally making the ex feel terrible about herself. It's her responsibility only to take care of herself and learn to believe in herself again.