Loving a Substance Abuser

Being in a relationship with a person who is or was addicted to drugs or alcohol is a challenge, to say the least. Addiction becomes a disease that not only affects the user, but also the whole family when spouses or partners and children are affected. Thus, the whole family needs treatment. For a recovering addict, that may mean a long period in rehab, so families should be prepared for the addict being away from the family for a time. The rest of the family should attend therapy such as Al-Anon or private sessions with an addiction specialist. The goal is to heal from any emotional damage the addict has done and learn how to change living patterns to coexist with the newly sober family member.


When a family member is in the throes of addiction, it is also important for family members to seek the guidance of addiction professionals in order to cope with the challenges of living with an addict. Living with and loving a substance abuser seems like a bad idea, but it happens for various reasons. One might be a condition called codependency, in which the spouse or partner feels an unrealistic sense of responsibility for the addict's actions and wellbeing, fear of abandonment, the need to control everything around him or her, and perhaps a skewed understanding of love and healthy relationships. And when the addict is in recovery, a codependent partner might feel smothering. Again, it is of utmost importance when dealing with addiction that partners and families are treated as well.