Rounding the Bases: How Far Should You Go?

When you're first starting out in a potential relationship, it's hard to know when to say when. Yes, we're talking about sex. Do you go for a homerun or play it safe on second base? The last you think you want to do is strike out when you're only in the first inning of the game. So what's a girl to do when it comes to sealing the deal? Depending on what you are looking for out of the person, many consider sex out the door to be a major first-date folly. After all, why buy the cow when you get the milk for free? Research done by the Social Science Research Journal found that people are more inclined to get serious with someone who they don't shag early in the game. In fact, 56 percent of study participants who waited to round the bases reported having a higher quality relationship. According to sociology professor Anthony Paik that is because people focus more on becoming familiar with the person and less on doing the dirty. Paik told one media outlet, "The debate is 'why can't we have sex now?' The expectation is that sex should occur very quickly. But doing so, you're losing out on some information that might be useful." The long short of it is that holding off will probably be worth the wait in the long run.
A good rule of thumb is that you should take the time to get to know the person and whether or not they're right for you before jumping in bed. To give a specific time frame would be impossible, as every situation is different and every relationship progresses at a different pace. However, relationship coach Susanne Alexander tells Webmd.com to people should consider holding off for awhile. Alexander explains, "It becomes much more difficult to objectively see each other's character traits. Some couples then slide into engagement and marriage only to discover they have missed seeing major aspects of each other." Slow and steady may actually win the race in this case. Also keep in mind that it is important to take into consideration the risks of STDs and pregnancy. Put your safety first and be sure to have a talk when moving forward with the physical aspects of any new relationship.