No one's going to argue that infidelity can ruin a relationship. There are more reasons to stay faithful - or break off your unhappy relationship - than there are to cheat, but many spouses and significant others are tempted. The figures are murky about how many spouses cheat, but infidelity raises its ugly head in about one in five marriages, and those figures go even higher in some studies. There's no way to endorse or condone cheating, but if you're going to do it, then there are a few things to remember. Whatever your objective is for cheating - companionship, loneliness, sex, or something else - it points to something lacking in your relationship. Is there any way to meet that need besides cheating? If so, then give it a try; after all, cheating doesn't "just happen." If not, proceed with caution if your objective is to keep your "happy" home and long-term relationship intact. Make your intentions known - and learn of your lover's intentions - before embarking on an affair. Discuss what the two of you want out of the affair and avoid hurt feelings or miscommunication later.
Don't alter your routine - you'll need to find a way to carry on your affair without staying late at work, for example, if that's not something you ordinarily do. Obviously, a paper trail will raise all kinds of red flags. Pay for whatever you can in cash, and make it the responsibility of your lover to pay for hotel rooms if need be. Don't fish off the company pier - in other words, don't take your lover to your home or frequent haunts - there's too much risk involved. Other evidence to be vigilant about include birth control. It goes without saying that you should be using condoms with your lover to protect against sexually transmitted diseases, but don't allow your spouse or partner to find them, particularly if it's not the form of contraception that the two of you use. Finally, if you're not planning to leave your permanent partner, then keep feelings out of the picture. Break it off immediately if you think you're developing feelings or think your lover might be falling in love. Be prepared to face whatever consequences come your way if you cheat.