When embarking on the journey to wedded bliss, it's natural to feel nervous along the way. It's a big change, particularly if you're not used to living with your soon-to-be spouse or sharing finances, having kids, and all the other trappings of marriage. The runaway bride has become a cliche, but if you really feel like running as far as you can get in those wedding heels, then it may behoove you to listen to those feelings. A new study recently published in Science magazine compared newlywed couples' pre-wedding feelings with how they felt six months after getting married. Those pre-wedding gut feelings – whether acknowledged or not at the time – seemed to carry over into the marriage, according to Florida State University researchers. They had 135 heterosexual couples fill out questionnaires individually about their feelings about their new spouses to assess what they call "conscious responses." When given time to consider their feelings while possessing the knowledge that their answers would be seen by someone else, individuals were generally optimistic.
The individuals filled out the same questionnaire every six months for four years to test their conscious responses. When testing their "automatic attitudes," researchers initially found discrepancies that began to match up as time wore on and the honeymoon phase ended. They flashed pictures of each person's spouse for just one-third of a second – enough time for recognition but not enough to form a complete opinion – and asked participants to agree or disagree as quickly as possible with words that may be associated with the picture, such as "disgusting" or "delightful." Those who associated a negative word with the picture indicated a negative automatic attitude. Over time, the attitudes indicated on the questionnaire began to match up with the automatic attitudes exhibited in the picture exercise. Twelve couples divorced within the study's four years. Researchers acknowledged the pressure new married couples feel to "seem" happy, but they don't seem to allow those deeper feelings to surface.