It may seem like all guys are jerks, and you're destined to settle for a guy who doesn't treat you well. "There are no nice guys" may be a mantra among you and your girlfriends, but it's simply not the case. And starting with your own way of thinking is the first step to busting that myth. Bad examples of how men should act are everywhere, from the media portraying men to be total dirtbags to even how you were raised. Consider what you were told about how men should treat women – if anything. Maybe your mom left out the part about cutting a guy loose if he wasn't nice to you. Perhaps you watched her being abused – either emotionally or physically – at the hands of a man and have internalized that this way is simply how it is. Think about when relationships begin. As you begin dating or even just interacting with boys in your early teens, they're still trying to figure out how to act in a relationship. If you stick with these immature guys into adulthood, then you may not know how a mature, adult guy in a relationship really should act.
The good news is that you have the power to break these patterns anytime you want. When you just don't feel good and happy in a relationship, ask yourself why you feel that way and why you allow him to make you feel that way. Perhaps you feel you don't have enough support outside a romantic relationship. If that's the case, then strengthen the bonds you have with family and friends. It may help to talk to a therapist, who can help you become mentally stronger and more independent. Self-esteem and self-love are integral qualities to have before even embarking on a relationship. Honoring yourself and never settling for less than what you want is the way to have the relationship you want. And if it's not the right fit, then learn the tools to help you move on.