How to Catch the One Who Got Away

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Sometimes the pain and loneliness that results from a breakup is just too much to bear, and we find ourselves wanting to reunite with the cast-off partner. The motivation for wanting to do so can vary, but there are some times when a relationship should not be revisited (Rihanna and Chris Brown, we're looking at you). So when you're looking to reconnect, it's important first to examine why you're still carrying a torch for the person. Perhaps you're bored with the single life and miss going out on dates or just miss simple companionship. Rekindling a relationship simply because you're lonely isn't a good idea. It's easy to focus on the good times you had when you crave them, but keep in mind the bad times and the reasons why you're not together anymore. If it was a healthy relationship and you still believe it has potential, then go ahead and reach out. When you do, it's less high-pressure simply to drop him an email, text or message on Facebook instead of asking him to meet face to face for coffee or something else. Think about a brief missive - "Hey, how are you these days? Happy Birthday/Passover/St. Patrick's Day/whatever!" - not a pages-long letter about every detail of your life. His response will speak volumes, particularly if it's curt, short and to the point. If that's the case, then it's best to back off. If he seems happy to hear from you and reciprocates with questions about you, then it's safe to assume you can take the next step, which is doing some subtle digging to be sure he's single. That may mean looking for the same person featured repeatedly in Facebook photos, asking mutual friends or start up a conversation about his personal life. If all systems are go, then now's the time to suggest a low-key meetup, like coffee or a drink. A familiar environment where you had good times is a smart place to choose to bring back all those fond memories. Take it slow and investigate whether or not the issues you broke up over still exist. Perhaps there's a second chance in your future after all.