It's obvious to outsiders when a relationship is simply unhealthy for all those involved. Witnessing friends or family members who are involved with toxic partners is tough to see - a strong woman who now walks on eggshells, feels terrible about herself...the list goes on. But when your own mate is toxic, it's hard to step outside of yourself and your feelings to see the situation for what it really is - toxic. Here are some ways to recognize when a mate is toxic. People who are prone to choosing toxic mates tend to fall into the pattern of ill-fated relationships, stemming from their first failed relationships, whether it was an absent father or the high school jock who ignored them.