Sometimes a woman's biggest competition is not another woman; it's sports. Many men spend what seems to be all their waking hours living and breathing sports. If it's not football, it's baseball, basketball, or hockey. While your boyfriend or husband spends countless hours watching ball games, you're feeling more and more neglected. Are you destined to be a sports widow forever? Not to worry. Here are some things you can do to get your man on your team.
Of course, the answer is not to forbid your man from watching sports. It's never pleasurable to have something you enjoy taken away from you. What if your man forbids you to go shopping or get a massage? You wouldn't like that all, would you? It's OK for the both of you to have different interests.
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Benefits of Being a Sports Fan
There are many positive aspects of being a sports fan that you might not be aware of. Sure, you may not feel that grunting and yelling at the TV is beneficial, but think about the other things your man is doing while watching sports. He is probably watching the games with his friends, which gives him precious male bonding time. In addition, it's his way of relaxing, although it may not seem like it.
Your idea of relaxation may be reading a book, while his is rooting for his favorite team. Watching sports also gives your man an adrenaline rush. Having his favorite team score a field goal in the final seconds or watching his team come from behind and shoot a 3-pointer in the basketball game is thrilling to him.
Why Do You Hate Sports?
If you choose to bring up the topic of being a sports widow with your man, you need to first figure out why you hate it that he watches sports so much. Is he neglecting you and the kids? Is he ignoring you? Do you feel left out? Does he get too emotionally attached to the game and become prone to outbursts if his team loses? Is he foregoing his chores and other household duties in order to watch the game? All these factors can make any rational woman dread the weekends. When yelling doesn't work, it's common to resort to sulking or pouting in another room.
How to Help with the Problem
Just like with most other relationship issues, the key is compromise. First of all, just because you don't like sports doesn't mean it's bad and your man shouldn't enjoy it. You should both be free to pursue your own interests. It's best to have a frank discussion with your man (at a time when there's not a game on TV) and let him know your feelings. Most likely, he is too involved in the game to know how you really feel.
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You don't want to have your man resent you. Don't tell him he can't watch any more games or make him feel guilty for watching them. Everyone needs down time once in a while, but if you feel that he's spending so much time watching sports that the household is being neglected, then you may want to suggest a compromise. Maybe he should only watch the most important games instead of every single one that happens to be on TV.
It can also be good for you to compromise as well. Are you interested in sports at all? Are you willing to learn more about the rules of a particular sport? Pick a game and watch it with your husband. Ask him questions about the rules and the types of plays. You can even ask for his advice on what teams to root for. Your man will most likely enjoy the fact that you are interested in sports. At the same time, it's a great way for the two of you to bond. If he's not willing to teach you the fundamentals of the game, go online on your own time and learn the basics. You can then impress him the next time a game is on. Who knows, you might end up loving sports as much as he does.
If watching sports is just not your thing at all, don't just sit at home and sulk or nag at your man. Use the time to catch up on some relaxation of your own. Go hang out at a nearby park, go shopping, get a massage, or have coffee with friends.
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What if It's an Obsession?
Although most men do not have a bona fide addiction or obsession with sports, there are some instances in which women, children, and households are truly neglected because of a man's addiction to sports. Spending more than 15 hours per week watching sports is enough to ruin a relationship. It's important that your man spends time with you or all you will feel is resentment and jealousy. If the sports get out of hand, you need to be honest with him and let him know your feelings. Allowing your anger to build up will only make things worse.
If your man is watching sports more and more, to the point where your relationship is suffering, then your man may have some deeper issues. Some men become obsessed with work or hobbies to avoid dealing with their personal lives. If your man is placing sports above your relationship, then you need to uncover the underlying issue. Until you do so, sports will continue to rule the household. If the situation does not improve, then you and your man may need to resort to professional counseling to keep the relationship from falling apart.
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Communication is Key
Communication is key to a fulfilling relationship. Be honest with your man and let him know how you feel about the amount of time he spends watching sports. However, as long as he takes care of his household duties and makes time for you later, let him enjoy watching sports. Try to be supportive of his interests. Who knows? He just may be willing to go with you to that new chick flick you've been wanting to see.
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It does not really matter if you are a man or woman. Nor does it matter if you manage all the bills and look after children. Rather what it matters is that you should take the initiative to solve all problems in maintaining healthy and loving relationships.
The most important thing is not to argue with your partner and keep thinking you are right.{relatedarticles}
Being defensive or egoistic only succeeds in making her feel suffocated and causes your partner to drift further away from you even if you are staying under one roof and sleeping together. Instead, learn to control your emotions and be calm however hard it may seem initially.
Another important point to remember is to never ever beg for the your partner to return to you if things get heated up. Instead you need to provide a space for your partner by allowing him or her to stay and spend time with family. Doing this will improve your self-esteem.
Remember the purpose of marriage is to assist and support each other through ups and downs. Love is an important bridge to link a husband and wife in good and bad times.
Learn to show your passion with your partner in new ways every day. Use romantic competition, humour, messages and games to engage and brighten up your partner. Or learning a new skill like cooking and writing a poem.
Marriage is not about being in love with each other by hugging, kissing, having sex and sleeping together. It is about loving each other as a whole be it adjusting to each other's lifestyle and living habits, accepting each other's flaws and weaknesses but more importantly, staying united at all times.{relatedarticles}
This can affect your children as well as broken marriages naturally led to broken families.
Though getting advice from family, friends and marriage counsellors is helpful, they should be used as a last resort since marriage is primarily between you and your spouse agreeing with each other in order to make it work and last forever.
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