Boys will be boys.
Unfortunately, that can add up to one big headache for many women. Even the best guys have their flaws and habits that drive us up the wall; however, most man-mistakes aren't made purely to piss you off. We decode some of guys most mystifying and irritating behaviors.
Saying "I don't care" or "Whatever you think" every time you ask him for an opinion or decision.
Does your man go mute when you ask him how you look or get the deer in the headlights stare every time you talk about marriage? Don't write him off as uninterested or insensitive just yet. When guys aren't sure what you want they're afraid to say the wrong thing and would rather clam up than start a fight. The more comfortable you make him with sharing his thoughts and feelings, the more he will.
{relatedarticles}
It's also important to communicate clearly to him your needs and wants so that he can understand your feelings. By relating to where you are coming from, he will be better able to engage in a dialogue. If you have been dating for several months and he still doesn't speak up when you prompt him, you need to have a discussion about what's going on.
Not saying "I'm sorry."
After a big blowout when you can cut the tension with a knife, you might be thinking "this could all be over if he would just apologize" - but he doesn't budge. Even in the most PC times, many men have a hard time letting a woman get the last word. Most guys grew up in households seeing their fathers, grandfathers, and other men never apologize to the women in their lives. You can either suck it up and learn to accept his lack of progress or calmly explain to him that you are both equals in this relationship and that saying sorry doesn't emasculate him in any way.
He always wants sex at the worst times.
Men typically think of sex as a cure-all for any situation even an emotional one. They assume you will feel the same way. Just got laid off? Sex will take your mind of that. Having a fight with your best friend? Let's have sex to blow off that steam. It may seem like he's acting selfish, but he is only trying to help you the way he knows how. You can let him down gently and promise him a night of passion once your mood has passed or you can give it a chance to see if it actually works.
{relatedarticles}
He acts distant or mean to you when his friends are around.
When you spend time alone together your man may seem like the sweetest in the world, but when it comes to hanging with his crew he might act like he barely knows you. This typically goes back to the male-ego problem. Having his friends see him stroking your hair, holding your purse while you go to the bathroom, or blowing you a kiss from across the bar can totally blow his manly street cred. Either play it cool or skip the group hangouts altogether.
He remembers the score of a basketball game three years ago but can't remember anything you talked about yesterday.
A man's relationship with sports probably started long before he met you. Guys have been watching and talking about sports for a long time whereas being in a relationship may be relatively new to them. In addition to a long-term relationship with sports, many men mark certain times in their lives as they coincide with sports events like the Super Bowl or World Series.
He always gets defensive when you say something negative about his mother.
As the first woman in their lives, moms will always hold a special place in a man's heart. Even if she's acting terribly, it will be hard for him to hear you talk badly about the woman who raised him. Your best bet is to grin and bare it and if you must broach the "mom" subject do so very, very carefully and gracefully.
{relatedarticles}
He acts like he doesn't like your friends.
Your man might come off cold or uninterested when meeting your gal pals but that's because he may not be able to keep them all straight. Guys tend to have a long-standing solid group of a few friends, whereas women probably have lots of separate social groups like college friends, co-workers, family friends, etc. He may not understand your level of commitment to each group so he isn't sure how friendly or invested he should get.
When you ignore him, he calls all the time but when you act interested he suddenly wants nothing to do with you.
This can be one of the most frustrating issues a woman can experience when dealing with a man and it can make you feel downright crazy, but there is a reason why. When you are not paying attention to a guy by doing your own thing and living your life you come off as confident but the minute you offer a man your attention his brain switches to a mode that makes him feel trapped.
This can be blamed on biology as men have innate need to show or signal to others that he is still available to procreate at a moment's notice. Some guys are better at controlling this than others and if you can't seem to get him to settle down after a few tries - move on. {relatedarticles}
So the next time you're grumbling and cursing him under your breath asking "WHY does he do that?!" you can turn to this guide to figure it out. Remember that just like you aren't perfect - neither is he. Rather than ignoring it, hoping he will change on his own, the best to way to tackle these issues is to keep an open mind and line of communication.
Read More
Unless you've been living under a rock for the past several months, you've undoubtedly heard the rave reviews surrounding E.L. James' book "50 Shades of Grey."
This instant literary phenomenon tells the story of a college student who is being courted into signing a contract to be a "submissive" where she will be dominated by a young, rich businessman. By accepting the twisted dynamic, she will allow him to perform a variety of sexual fantasies on her, that are lagely S&M in nature. The book's erotic and graphic sexual content has made it a hit with women of all ages. It's been branded "mommy porn."
{relatedarticles}
Judging from the success of James' "50 Shades of Grey," readers are lining up to read about erotica. Just reading this type of content would be enough to make most people blush, let alone write about it.
However, if you feel comfortable writing about sexually explicit content and can effectively create characters that readers can connect to, there is a market for it. If you are interested in writing for this genre, here are some tips to help you with the writing process.
Be Original
Nobody wants to hear the same plot over and over. Having a deliveryman or a repairman come by and seduce the housewife has been done before. Think of something more original. It could be something that's happened in your everyday life, just spiced up a bit. Use your imagination and be creative.
Or you can think of a sexual fantasy that you'd want fulfilled. This may give you some good ideas or at least a good starting point for your writing.
{relatedarticles}
Give the Readers What They Want
The reason why "50 Shades of Grey" has garnered so much buzz is that it's wish fulfillment on behalf of the readers. The book is giving them something that they're not used to getting at home. So the trick is to come up with a sexual fantasy so off the wall, something that the average couple would be unlikely to engage in.
Erotica is about obtaining the unachievable. Erotica allows readers to live out their fantasies, which makes it so interesting.
However, at the same time, be somewhat realistic. People are real and have flaws. Although you may want your story to have a certain aspect of perfection, having a person who has flaws and vices makes it more exciting. Too much perfection will make your story boring.
Use Proper Wording
In the narration, try to keep some elegance. Try to keep a balance between blunt and euphemistic. It's fine to use some off-color language in the dialogue, but the narration should not use language that is too graphic or unintelligent.
{relatedarticles}
Give Details
Sure, erotica is about two people having sex. That's a no-brainer. However, you need to add details in order to engage the reader. Any book can say "Then they had sex." How did they have sex? What were they doing? Where did they have sex?
What did the people look like? What were they wearing? What were they saying? These questions need to be addressed with as much detail as possible, or else readers won't be interested.
Don't Move Too Fast or Too Slow
Along the same lines, you don't want the action to move so fast or so slow that readers get confused or bored. Although you want details in your story, don't focus too much on insignificant ones.
At the same time, you want the action to flow at a normal pace. Don't change scenes too quickly. You need to allow time to build up to the sexual act. You shouldn't be talking about sex in the first sentence or even the first chapter of the book. Lead up to it. Allow readers to anticipate it.
{relatedarticles}
Use Dialogue
A successful work of erotica includes lots of action as well as dialogue. The people involved need to be talking. They can't just meet and have sex right away. Dialogue sets the mood and shows the character's personalities.
Plus, dialogue can make a naughty scene even naughtier, or a silly one even sillier. Also, don"t be afraid to use metaphors or double-entendres. These are when you say one thing, but mean something else (like sex). It works as verbal foreplay, building sexual tension until the main event (the actual sex act).
Do Research
It can be hard to describe sexuality, so do some research if you don't feel comfortable writing. You may want to read stories from other erotica authors to get a feel for the type of description and wording to use. This is especially true for men, who sometimes don't feel the need for description. However, women tend to be more descriptive, so they often have an innate knack for describing things spot-on.
As for the sex scenes themselves, you don't need to have experienced them in real-life, although some authors do choose to go that route. They might describe what they did in first person, which is difficult for new writers.
{relatedarticles}
However it's best to do whatever makes you feel more comfortable. If you do write about a real-life sexual experience, be mindful that it might offend your partner. Be descriptive without making it too publicly known. Try to maintain some anonymity.
Be Uninhibited
Write as if nobody will read it. Let your creative juices flow and just write. It can make you feel vulnerable because you are exposing a part of yourself and your inner fantasies, but you need to be able to eventually be OK with that and gain a sense of comfort. Start out by writing in somewhat risqué language and then move up to juicier scenes once you feel more comfortable.
It may take some time. Writing about sex is not the same as writing about your pets or your children. Many people still believe sex is taboo, which makes it difficult to express yourself sexually without coming off as a slut.
Admittedly, writing erotica is not for everyone. Some people would die of embarrassment talking about sexual fantasies, let alone writing about them. It takes a special person to be able to write sex scenes without embarrassment.
{relatedarticles}
Sex sells, and if you are willing to tackle this genre and write successfully, then it could be a lucrative career choice. Follow these tips and make your erotic book go from un-publishable to successful.
Read More
It's no secret that men want sex. And generally, they want it a lot. But what other things does your man want from you? Turns out there are some simply sexy, easy, activities you can incorporate in your day-to-day and reap the benefits of a super-satisfied male. Here are 10 things your man wants you to do but might never ask for:
10. Listening
It's number 10, but that doesn't mean it isn't important; men aren't all about sex. As much as he tries to deny it, your man needs a shoulder and a listening ear from time to time, but knowing when is the key.
{relatedarticles}
Try to hear not only what he is saying, but also what he is not saying, as most men won't tell you what's really going on in their heads right away. Reading between the lines will show him that you truly care, that you really get him, and that you're sympathetic to his needs and wants.
9. Homemade Food
It really is true that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Your guy might love it if you cooked an elaborate meal for him, but he could be afraid to ask because he doesn't want to seem like he expects you to cook.
So, surprise him with a home-cooked meal every now and then; or if you can't cook, takeout on your good plates works too (just make sure to hide the boxes at the bottom of the trash can and he'll never know the difference).
8. Gifts
Men are basically just oversized kids; they love Christmas, Father's Day, and any excuse to get gifts. They love to get the latest boy toys: guy movies, stuff for their car, or any battery-operated gadget. Just remember that getting your guy something you think he should like but that he actually won't is a cardinal sin.
Try thinking about gift giving in these terms. Pre-ordering Halo 4 for him is equivalent to him sending you a dozen roses and chocolate at work for no reason. Buying two season passes to the museum is like him getting you a bowling ball for your anniversary.
{relatedarticles}
7. Positive Affirmations
Just don't tell him they're called positive affirmations. All guys want to hear that they are really sexy and good in bed. Just like women, men need to hear that their women are happy with how they look and what they do.
It makes them feel appreciated, and it's also a turn on for them. This also plays into being more vocal in bed, which is closer to the top of his list - don't be afraid to scream about how amazing he is.
6. A Strip Show
Men love to watch a woman strip - it's just a fact of life. It ranks in at number 6 because it probably isn't something he wants all the time. The way to a man's heart is through his senses, especially his eyes.
As visual creatures, they love to see their woman tease and get naked in front of them. So turn on some music, dress up in a little outfit, and put on a show. If you don't get it quite right the first time, he won't mind - after all, practice makes perfect.
{relatedarticles}
5. Role Playing
Again, this is not something most men want to do every night, hence the lower ranking. Don't be afraid to role play. Pretending to be someone else for a night isn't going to inspire your man to actually go spend a night with someone else.
In fact, he'll probably like it so much that you'll have no problem keeping him around for the long haul. Ask your guy who he might like you to pretend to be and then go shopping for the costume together.
4. Lingerie
Lingerie is so, so important. Some women seem to think that guys will hit anything that moves, but we actually like it when it is clear that our woman is making an effort. For instance, mismatched bras and panties are kind of a turn off for some guys.
So invest in some really sexy (and matching) lingerie. He'll want to see you in and then immediately out of it, but nevertheless, it is still important. Never skimp on sexy lingerie, and always have it handy.
3. Being More Vocal In Bed
In other words, screaming at the top of your lungs that you love whatever he's doing. Men start going crazy when they can tell that their women really likes what is happening at the moment in the bedroom.
{relatedarticles}
So next time you get busy, go a little overboard when he does something you like. It'll make him feel more confident and he may start trying things that he's never done before.
2. Staying In Good Shape
You don't have to look like Jennifer Lopez, but guys do prefer it if their lady stays in shape and takes care of herself, inside and out. A boyfriend or husband loves it when you smell good, your clothes are clean, and you are in good shape. You want him to stay healthy, so offer that to him as well.
Men are more likely to take care of themselves if you are doing the same. It is also a good excuse to spend more money on the things we love, right girls? He'll be totally cool with you spending more of the budget on some extra perfume, makeup, and skinny jeans as long as he benefits, too.
1. Trying New Things In Bed
He would like to try new positions, role playing or even some more exotic types of sex, but you have been closed to things like that because either you're shy or had a bad experience in the past.
{relatedarticles}
Just try to listen to him and do your best to consider what he's saying. Communication and openness to anything new is crucial to a fun, loving relationship. Keep this in mind -- if you try something that is important to him, he'll be more likely to give your fantasy a shot, too.
Read More
