Children express emotions in a range of ways, and they may not always seem like appropriate reactions. Being scolded might turn a child into a wailing, hysterical mess, but the death of a close family member might be met with stoicism. {relatedarticles}This is because children model their behavior after what they see adults doing. It's important, especially during a life-changing or catastrophic event, to allow children to see your emotions. That goes for deaths, divorce, natural disasters or even national tragedies. It's helpful to tell children what to anticipate if you know, for example, that a family member is terminally ill. Explaining that Grandpa is very sick, isn't getting better and may die soon can help better prepare children for when that death occurs. When it does, explaining what happens to people's bodies and death's permanence can help children understand. Use your faith as a guide to explaining the afterlife. And allow children to see your own emotions.
Clamming up and acting as if there's nothing wrong around them is a surefire way to communicate that emotions are not OK when dealing with loss. Children may respond inappropriately - giggling or acting nonchalant. {relatedarticles}Saying things like, "It's hard to know what to think about Grandpa dying, isn't it?" can help guide your child's behavior. Be sure not to punish for inappropriateness. Listen to your child and watch for signs that he or she may be hurting but not communicating that pain. It's a mistake to scold children, especially boys, for showing emotion. Lead by example, showing your children that it's OK to cry and not be ashamed to do so. Families support one another, and as children grow up, they need that example to imitate with their own children when the time comes.