"I'm telling!" may be the most annoying phrase that your child emits, particularly around the preschool age. But tattling usually boils down to one motivation: getting attention. Excessive tattling usually happens when kids aren't mature enough to settle conflicts among themselves, and that's normal for younger children. They look to adults to help when they know something's not right. Encouraging and helping kids solve the problem themselves while acting as a mediator can help facilitate independence and reduce incidences of tattling. {relatedarticles}Many moms say conflicts arise when kids are forced to share toys - "Johnny won't share!" might be a familiar refrain. Ask the snitch what outcome he might like to see in a situation like this. "Well, what can we do to help Johnny share? Maybe we should use the egg timer?" Sometimes kids tattle to show you that they know the rules and are trying to enforce them. For example, a kid might tell on his brother when he catches him sneaking an extra cookie.
He's telling you, "Look, I know the rules, and Brother broke them!" Of course, that doesn't make it any less annoying for the parent who has to deal with the snitching, but it's important to acknowledge the child's grasp of right and wrong. And then there's that senseless kind of telling that doesn't seem to accomplish anything - "The baby threw her bottle on the floor again!" and the like. This type of tattling may indicate jealousy, competition or in younger kids, exhaustion. {relatedarticles}A toddler might snitch because he's feeling overwhelmed and can't articulate those feelings effectively. Redirecting the child's attention to a quieter activity may alleviate the situation. Jealousy and competition can be remedied by giving the tattler a little attention, perhaps a hug, then telling the children to work it out among themselves. While you don't want to reward tattling, you do want to encourage that independence while still being available for your child.