What do you do when you are in love and your friends do not like your new Love?  You really like this person, they makes you happy and things are going well.   Things stop going well within you, however, when you begin to feel in the middle of your friends and your new Love.  You find that with your new Love you are defending and explaining your friends and with your friends you are defending and explaining your new Love. How in the heck are you going to make these two parts of your life come together where you do not fear if you have one you will lose the other.  At what point do you learn to live for yourself without feeling like you have to prove yourself and your choices to everyone?

Five Steps to Finding Your Answers:

Analyze the situation:  Could jealousy or envy be a part of their dislike?  Does your new Love treat your friends with kindness and respect? Is your new Love flirtatious with any of your friends?  Is he/she attentive to you? Does your new Love treat you respectfully in front of your friends?  Do you complain about your new Love to them?  Try to see from their eyes what this person could possibly being doing that they view as negative.

Consider their feedback:  If you can see that something they are saying about your new Love is true take this information in and decide how you want to handle it with your new Love.  Do you need to explain to your friends that your new Love does not mean these behaviors in a negative way to help them better understand his/her personality?

Question your new Love: Do you feel pressured to be with your new Love and not your friends? Does he/she talk to you nicely and treat you with respect?  Is your new Love self-sufficient and responsible?  If you notice your new Love is being rude to your friends then it is up to you to create the peace. Keep in mind if your new Love deeply cares for you then they will treat your friends with respect because your new Love will want their respect in return knowing they are important to you.

Question your friends:  Do you feel pressured not to see your new Love to be with your friends? Do you feel threatened you will either lose them or your new Love because there is not enough of you to please everyone? Sometimes friends really are just being too needy which is part of the reason that communication is so important here. If it is really your friends who are jealous then there is not much you can do about that except to tell them it is what it is and eventually, if they are true friends, they will adjust and be happy for you.

Balance your Time: If your friends think you are not spending enough time with them then you need to do something to repair that. Do not lose touch with girl time.  Commit to putting time for them into your schedule.  There is not friend out there who will be ok with being totally abandoned for your new relationship.  Because you treasure your friends, find ways to let them know they are invaluable to you. 

Ultimately it is not up to your friends who you should or should not date.  Take into consideration that sometimes it is the people outside of you who have a clear view into how someone is treating you.  When you are in love you can justify things which are not or should not be justified in the name of love.  Consider their feedback and then communicate.  Communicate with both your friends and your new Love directly.  However, keep in mind you are here to have your own lessons in life and those lessons can only come from experiencing the consequences of your decisions.  If you are in a relationship with someone your friends do not like, they will need to accept your decision if you choose to stay in this new relationship because they will know you have to walk this path to learn. 

Little Life Message: Do not lose yourself trying to prove yourself.  Follow your heart and walk your path. 

 Dr. Sherrie Campbell is an author and a licensed Psychologist with more than 19 years of clinical training and experience. She provides practical tools to help people overcome obstacles to self-love and truly achieve an empowered life.  She is featured regularly on national online media and has a successful practice in Southern California.  Get her free article on Five Ways to Make Love the Common Ground in Your Communication.  Receive free insights from Sherrie through her Facebook community. For more information, visit www.sherriecampbellphd.com.