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It's unrealistic to keep kids from witnessing arguments at all costs, for example, when parents leave the room in a good mood, then go into the bedroom to argue and come out unhappy. Kids may infer that the disagreement had something to do with them, fostering feelings of guilt and shame. Noticing your kids' reactions when you fight is important - they may act out or become clingy in order to distract you from arguing. Girls and boys react differently to fighting - researchers find that boys tend to withdraw and girls attempt to get involved. When children involve themselves in this manner, they're more likely to blame themselves when there are negative outcomes of the argument, like the silent treatment, more arguing or ultimately a breakup. Children need to see that when conflict occurs that it's also resolved. Using humor and affection to wrap things up can reassure kids that things are going to be OK when the going gets tough.
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