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They look for a "redo," in which they choose a similar jerk to date and expect it to work out. When it doesn't, they feel even worse about themselves than before. If you notice your self-esteem flagging or seem to be giving and giving without getting a lot in return, then you may have a toxic mate. Toxic relationships usually begin in a whirlwind fashion. A toxic mate may sweep you off your feet with grand gestures and lots of passion. This approach understandably sucks you in, with feelings of romance and intimacy. Sometimes a toxic mate will foster an us-against-the-world philosophy to feign solidarity with you. But when a mate regularly disappoints you, controls you and creates a sense of dependence on him or her, then it's a good indication that you're in a toxic relationship. Getting out of a toxic relationship is a matter best approached in a cold-turkey fashion. Lots of reliance on supportive friends and family is important, and a person coming out of a toxic relationship may even need professional help to boost self-esteem.
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