Trust is an important part of any relationship. If you don't have faith in your boyfriend or husband, the connection you share can't help but feel hollow. Yet, like everything else that matters in life, the bond you have with your significant other isn't black and white.
The gray areas will always be there, especially if you have reason to believe your partner is not being up front with you. While it isn't ideal, peeking at his Internet history may give you some insight into the true character of the man of your dreams.
But beware. You just might see some sites that should never pop up in his browser. So take a deep breath and consider this list of five web sites that you don't want anywhere near your man's computer.
Pornography Sites
If you find out that the love of your life has a few favorite sites that qualify as porn, you may have an issue. Although it doesn't always mean anything is wrong with your relationship, some women think it's a deal breaker. That's because the need to watch porn could point to deficiencies in the real-life romance.
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Also, there are cases where porn becomes an unhealthy addiction. And that can't help but do damage to the sexual chemistry you've developed with your man.
The other side of the story is that porn may be an exciting way to freshen up your sex life. So you may look at such sites as a plus, not so much as an insurmountable crisis.
However, every woman has her own view of porn. You'd be wise to draw your own conclusions on this subject. But if you feel pornography shouldn't be part of your man's browser, use this topic as an excuse to have an open discussion about what you want from this relationship. It might take your bond in a new and important direction.
Dating Sites
You've been through lots of ups and downs with your man, which, logically, leads you to believe you're both committed to each other and no one else. But then you find out he's got a collection of dating sites in his browser. What does it mean? Unfortunately, such a discovery may not a good sign for the happily ever after you've imagined with this guy.
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Some men like to explain that they're just on these types of sites to meet people. It's as innocent as that. But if this is really the case, why choose sites that are designed to create romantic attachments? That's the question you have to ask yourself in a situation like this.
Gay Sites
When you plan to live the rest of your life with a man, the last thing you'd ever want to find in his browser are pages and pages of gay sites. It can only spell doom for your future, if you've always wished for a heterosexual, monogamous guy to be with for years to come.
But there is always the possibility that your main squeeze is simply curious about homosexual love. It may not be anything more than that. Of course, this can be a very embarrassing topic and one that the man in your life is hesitant to admit. Yet this secret interest may be the true reason behind his habit of storing gay sites on the home PC.
Still, the fact that you've found these web sites should give you reason to take a step back and really look at this relationship. It could be that your man is truly attracted to his own sex. If this is the real reason for his behavior, it will certainly get in the way of the romantic aspect of your attraction.
Couples counseling may be the way to go to figure out the next step in your relationship.
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Spy Sites
You've been dating your life partner for a while and think you share a mutual trust. But everything changes in an instant when you discover he's been browsing through sites that enable him to spy on your computer activity. Now that goodwill is out the window.
Every aspect of the faith you thought you had in each other is under scrutiny because he has revealed that he doesn't believe in you. Whether his paranoia is because of past infidelities or he just has problems trusting women in general, this doesn't bode well for your future as a couple.
The fact that he's taken this extreme step to watch you online when you don't have a clue he's around brings up other disturbing questions. Where are his ethics? Does he have any? And if he is going out of his way to monitor you so secretively, what kind of information is he holding back from you?
These are all topics that need to be discussed before you can build any kind of trust with this man again. Otherwise, this cagey behavior is only going to get worse, building a foundation of suspicion on what should be a satisfying relationship.
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Married Or Cheating Types of Sites
You've taken marital vows and they mean the world to you. But what happens when you find out your very own husband is fixated on sites that help him cheat on you? Believe it or not, these web sites are pretty common. And they can spell the end of the marriage you've held so dear.
Not only does this discovery speak volumes about your hubby's trustworthiness, but it says a lot about his respect for you in general. The slogan for one site is, "Join us today! It's free. Don't be married and bored or married and lonely. You can have fun meeting up with other marrieds in your area for married affairs and much more."
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Sadly, however, the act of having an affair has been glamorized on the internet. Some of these sites actively promote the excitement of this kind of passionate liaison, creating marketing slogans that make immoral behavior fun. Your significant other may just be one of the many men who fall victim to a catchy advertising campaign, even at the expense of your marriage.
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Have you been wishing lately that your honey had more yin than yang or was more like a babbling brook instead of rushing rapids? You are not alone. If your fellow is suffering from too much testosterone lately, then maybe you need to help him ease up on the accelerator by teaching him about getting in touch with his softer side.
What better way to reach his softer side than to awaken the soft spots in his erogenous zones that will leave him tingling instead of tumbling? Here is a list of all-time favorite soft spots that will drive him crazy from top to bottom.
The Scalp
Containing numerous glands and hair follicles, the scalp protects his busy brain when working overtime. To calm his mind, body, and soul, begin by running your hands through his hair with gentle circular strokes.
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This works well especially in the shower. If your partner doesn't have enough hair to work up lather then just squeeze your fingertips all along his scalp until you feel his stress slip away.
The Temple
With modern day hassles come modern day headaches, especially stress headaches that pound our temples like a set of drums. He might not even realize how tense is he until you start massaging his temples with soft tender strokes.
The Cheeks, Chin and Jowls
The cheeks are one of the softest and fleshiest parts of our bodies. However if your fellow shaves, his cheeks, chin, and jowls are under attack every day. Your gentle fingers along the jaw line and under the chin can make him forget about his 8 rounds with the razor that morning.
The Ears
The ears are a very sensitive area of our bodies, especially the soft and delicate ear lobe. The ears can be gently teased with kisses, licks and gentle tugs. For a more aggressive play, try thrusting your tongue into his ear and then perk up your ears to hear his reaction.
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The Neck
One of the most erogenous zones for men and women, the neck is also a place where we carry a lot of tension and baggage of the day. If your fellow is hunched over a computer all day, he may be experiencing a lot of neck pain and stiffness. A gentle message in this area can transform your growling tiger into a gentle pussycat.
The Elbow
If you can trigger the funny bone with a light tapping, you will create a sensation that will give your guy an experience that is strange and amusing. This one might be used best on someone you would like to start stroking more often that you don't know so well.
The Fingers
His fingers are another soft spot to focus on because they are quite sensitive. If you have any doubt, ask him to close his eyes and then place something of yours in his hands and see how he reacts. For a little more intensity, try suckling his fingers one at a time; he will soon make the connection that his fingers are standing in as double for another part of his body.
The Abs
Whether your fellow is sporting a six pack or has already gone a little soft around the middle, a gentle leisurely stroke along the abdomen may get him to suck in his gut with unexpected pleasure.
The Chest
Massaging his chest is another substitute for stroking his manhood and another opportunity to wrap your fingers around some more curls-if he is well endowed in this area. For a little more spice, focus on his nipples which are filled with nerves. Think of your caresses as a role reversal exercise to help him get in touch with his more feminine side.
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The Navel
The navel is where life began and is the soft spot where he first bonded with his mother. You can continue that special bonding feeling by touching his navel and the region around it with your finger or the tip of your tongue. He should experience a tingling feeling deep inside while experiencing a déja vu moment.
The Back
Professional masseuses earn very good money for their services. You will better understand why they are in such high demand after you see, hear, and feel the reaction of your man, after you have become his personal masseuse. Begin with a gentle rub all over his back and then concentrate on a problem area. The lower back or shoulders are good choices. To bring on a "gotcha reaction," try navigating your tongue along the center of his back and listen for the gasp of surprise and delight.
The Inner Thigh
Soft, smooth, and near and dear to his "yin" the inner thigh is a perfect area to caress with elongated strokes. You rhythmic movements will be a delightful tease.
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The Back of Knee
Similar to the elbow, the unique sensations from stroking the back of his knees with both confuse him and amuse him. It's the strangeness of this area that makes it a winning soft spot.
The Feet
Reflexology is an ancient healing technique that involves the message of the feet used to relieve tension and treat illnesses, based on the theory that there are reflex points particularly on the feet linked to every part of the body.
Since we tend to abuse our feet daily from hitting the pavement, a gentle massage will do wonders. For the best effect, place the palm of your hand on the sole of his foot and start rubbing, then branch out and rock the top of his foot back and forth until he starts to coo like a baby.
Between the Toes
Toes, like the fingers are highly sensitive, and also suffer from being confined by our shoes. To stimulate the toes, try gently separating them to create a special tingling effect.
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His Heart
This is the soft spot that truly is important and the one that you want to touch the most. To soften his heart, caress each of his soft spots while whispering softly a melody in his ears of how much you love and appreciate him.
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Whether it's going to the same restaurant every week, doing laundry every Wednesday, or hitting the sack at exactly 11 p.m. every night, routines can get boring. Similarly, having sex with the same person - and only that person - for a long period of time can get boring, too.
But if you still want to be in a relationship with them, what do you do? You can't cheat, as that will destroy the trust and honesty in your relationship. So what other options are there? When that feeling of sexual routine begins to set in, many forward-thinking couples nowadays consider swinging as a solution.
Swinging began in the 1960s during the hippie era of sexual revolution. It involves bringing other sexual partners into the bedroom; often this is done as a couple with another couple or a partner, individually while the other partner watches, or just individually and one-on-one.
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All activities are done with the permission of the significant other, though, so there are no feelings of betrayal or hurt.
Swinging is usually not just a one-time thing. Most couples who consider themselves swingers treat it as a lifestyle, regularly attending swingers' parties, meeting other swingers, and going to swingers' events. The most popular place for swingers to go is swingers' clubs.
What is a swingers' club?
A swingers' club is just what it sounds like: a nightclub for swingers. Now, not only swinging couples are allowed into swingers' clubs. These clubs typically allow couples, single women and single men, though there is usually a limit on the number of single men allowed in the club at one time.
Whether part of a couple or not, most people who come to a swingers' club are interested in exploring new sexual partners or sexual fantasies. Swingers' clubs serve as a place for these people to meet others with these same interests. Many clubs even have backrooms or VIP areas in which visitors can partake in sexual activities with other patrons.
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Many swingers' clubs have a bar and serve alcohol to help keep the conversation flowing and visitors' inhibitions low, even featuring:
- a DJ;
- a dance floor; and
- sometimes even stages or dance cages for entertainment.
What might I see at a swingers' club?
A swingers' club is not the place to go if you are conservative or modest. Though not all clubs offer a VIP or activity room, it is very likely you will see some nudity and possibly even illicit sexual activities.
At the very least, you will see many other couples and singles, dressed to impress and meet potential sexual partners. There is also likely to be a good number of intoxicated people and dancing. Depending on the location of the swingers' club and the time of night, you could really see any age, race or size at a swingers' club. From 21 to 80, members of the swinging lifestyle span all generations.
Be prepared to be approached or propositioned. Since the premise of a swingers' club is to connect people interested in exploring other sexual partners, most patrons will be very blunt and upfront about what they are looking for. They won't be shy about complimenting you, propositioning you, staring at you, or asking you sexually illicit questions.
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How do I get in?
Typically, swingers' clubs charge a high admission price at the door. This is to keep out anyone who is not truly serious about the swinging lifestyle. It also goes toward keeping the club clean and safe for all patrons.
When you get to a swingers' club, you will have to check in at a front desk area. You may be asked to sign a non-disclosure agreement, stating that you will not share any details of what you see in the club during your visit. You may even need to turn in your cell phone; this helps guarantee privacy of the patrons, ensuring that no pictures of activities at the club are taken or transmitted.
If you want to visit a VIP or activity room, there may be additional charges, as well as precautions (such as wearing a condom), to which you will be required to submit. Each swingers' club is different, however, so these requirements will vary.
What else should I know?
Many swingers' clubs have a BYOB (bring your own beverage) policy. This is either because they don't have an alcohol license with which to sell alcohol to patrons, or they discourage the use of alcohol, because it impairs peoples' judgment and makes them less likely to act safely and use protection.
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If you plan to drink at a swingers' club, be sure to check the club's policy before going. You may need to bring your own beverages.
Most swingers' clubs have an abundance of condoms available for patrons. In order to ensure your health and safety, though, bring your own condoms if you plan to participate in any sexual activities during your visit.
For couples in a committed relationship who are interested in exploring other sexual activities and partners, swingers' clubs may be an option. Before visiting a swingers' club, however, ensure both you and your partner are in agreement as to what's allowed and what is off limits.
This will ensure neither of you is hurt in the event one of you participates in sexual activities with another patron while at a swingers' club or event.
Swingers' clubs can also be good options for single people who are not looking for a monogamous relationship and are interested in experiencing a free sexual lifestyle. As mentioned previously, though, many swingers' clubs will limit the number of singles allowed in on a nightly basis.
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Remember, swingers' clubs typically do not advertise or make themselves very well known. It may take some research through online swinging groups to find a swingers' club near you.
Also, it is important to note that the legalities of swingers' clubs and their activities vary from state to state. Before you make plans to attend a swingers' club, make sure to investigate your state's laws first. Otherwise, your first foray into swinging could very well be your last.
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