Today's Love Tip
It seems obvious what the big payoff is in the bedroom during a love session. But did you know the big O is beneficial long after you and your partner leave the bedroom? Researchers are learning that having regular orgasms are very beneficial... Read More
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Sex Survival Guide: What Every Woman Needs for Bedtime Play

art36163The contents of your nightstand drawer are important, so we'd like to pass on to you the items that every woman should have to enjoy the many pleasures of sex, whether you're married, dating, or single.

Your daily vibrator. Hitachi and Rabbit are popular brands for go-to vibrators, but the point is that you need one. Whatever your brand preference is, you need a reliable, get-her-done vibrator that you can count on in a pinch. This is the power-tool of your sex life, so if you haven't already got one in your bedroom drawer, research different brands and models before you choose.

A luxury vibrator. You probably have more than 1 purse. You have your everyday purse that you cram all your stuff in, the one you've been putting all your miles on. But you also have a stylish, designer purse that you can pull out when you really want to glam it up.

Vibrators are no different. A top-notch vibe from JimmyJane, a leader in luxury adult toys, can run as much as $175. But every woman needs to spoil herself every now and again. Every woman needs to spoil her vagina, too.

Lube that smells good. Some women don't normally use lube because they don't need it, but even if you're one of those women, you should have it around for special occasions - anal, marathon sex, sex with a guy you're not incredibly attracted to, and so on and so forth.

If you're going to use lube, it should be 2 things: nice-smelling, and intended for a vagina. Men will throw anything on there if you don't stop them: lotion, moisturizer, hair conditioner (yes, this happens, and to real people). So keep a bottle of lubricant on standby.

Be sure to investigate the ingredients, particularly if you have sensitive skin or any allergies, because that is not the type of reaction you want to have down there.

Something incredibly weird. That's right. Keep something raunchy in the bedroom. Think of this as a litmus test, the hovering needle on the freak meter, if you will.

It will cost less than $40 to add a ball gag, nipple clamps, and hand restraints to your collection, but the reaction on your partner's face when he (or she) realizes that you not only know how to use these naughty accoutrements, but also own them - priceless.

You'll keep them guessing, and you will be a sex goddess in the eyes of your partner's friends. And those friends will hear about it, and in graphic detail. Just acknowledge that reality right now.

If you don't have a headboard, a number of companies make a handy "under the bed" restraint system, and by all accounts, even if you just use it once, ever, you will have gotten your money's worth.

Contraceptives and STD protection. This is a real "duh" item on the list, but it must be mentioned. Whether you use condoms or birth control, whatever it is, just do it. If you're on birth control, you should still use condoms when you're having sex with a partner you're not in a monogamous relationship with. While you might not know what that person has, you know for a fact that you don't want it, so don't risk it.

Remember, condoms don't "spoil the mood" and if you're picky about sensation, there are some ultra-thin and lamb skin options. Keep a huge box of condoms stashed in a drawer no matter what but don't get a box so big that they are going to expire before you have time to use them. The only thing worse than not using protection is using it incorrectly, and believing that you're still safe.

Something for your clitoris. You need a little silver bullet for your clitoris, and many are cheap, basic, and shaped a lot like an egg. Many of them have an attached remote control to regulate pressure, vibration speed, and other features.

Something for your G-spot. The G-spot is not a myth; it is a real cluster of tissue in your vagina and you have access to it. Whether you have done that yet or not is a different story. If your eyes have already been opened to the exquisite splendor of G-spot stimulation, then you are probably nodding your head in agreement right now.

If you have not, then it's more than likely that the right toy will help you nail it (no pun intended). Unfortunately, sex toys aren't returnable and some can be quite expensive, so it will be difficult to "test" some out in order to experiment.

Batteries. A lot of things can get in the way of sexy time: stress, work, arguments, school, children, life. The last thing you need when you're getting down to business is to be blocked by a battery failure. Keep a box of them in your drawer, and be sure that you have the right size for each of your toys.

Lingerie. This is not just for the boys; it's important that you feel sexy for yourself, too. No, there's nothing wrong with flopping down in your sweats from a long day and getting into your own pants, or someone else's. Wear lingerie because it makes you feel good, confident, feminine, and sexy. Wear it alone, or wear it for your partner, or better yet, do both.

If you don't own any lingerie, there was never a better time to start your collection. It's best to start with something basic but whether you want a sheer black teddy or a pink laced bustier, make sure you try it on to ensure a good fit and comfort. In fairness, though, you'll probably only be in it for 5 to 10 minutes at a time.

A charged cell phone. Wait, what? In the event that anything should go awry - and we're not talking about failure to climax - you should have immediate access to a cell phone that you can use to call for help if you or your partner should be accidentally injured during sex. You never know. Stranger things have happened.

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Porn to Be Mild: Female-Friendly Adult Fare

Pornography is a topic that often inspires heated discussions. So many people have an opinion about it. Some think of it as a way to get in the mood for a sexual romp with their partner, while others simply dismiss it as smut.

But the one thing that pretty much everyone agrees on is that porn is an industry dominated by and made for men. But what about a woman's cravings? Does female-friendly adult fare even exist?


The answer is actually quite complicated. That's because women are aroused differently than men. Female desire is complex. Physiological and subjective forces are at work, sometimes even in opposition to each other. Emotional closeness can also stimulate sexual attraction, which adds a new layer to finding porn that satisfies a woman's carnal needs.

But even though the majority of porn is geared to the sexual urges of men, there are a growing number of women who want to watch this kind of entertainment.

In fact, Nielsen/NetRatings reveals that one out of every three porn watchers on the Internet is female. Despite the scarce amount of pornography that's available to satisfy a woman's sexual desires, there is an audience just waiting to be pleased.

Porn Made for Women, by Women

A new era of porn is making its way into the online market and beyond. It features a young man named James Deen, who is making women swoon all over the world. This porn star, who has already appeared in a string of popular adult films, is not your typical X-rated movie king.


For one thing, he has a geeky, boy-next-door appearance that you don't often find in pornography. But he's appealing to a female audience that's drawn to his normal good looks and down-home charm.

Deen's undeniable fan base shows that even though female sexuality is hard to pinpoint, there is a definite attraction to his nice-guy persona and the apparent emotional connection he shows on screen.

It could be argued that the lack of porn stars more akin to Deen reveals a disconnect between the male honchos who control porn and the women who want erotic stories geared to them. These powerful porn makers seem to think women are turned on by big, beefy guys, when they are really more aroused by a more understated male presence in adult movies.

Pamela Peaks, the producer who discovered Deen and made him into a household name in the porn world, touched on a gold mine. Her female-friendly films have given women sexual entertainment that isn't common in this male-dominated industry.


Thanks in part to Peaks, now more than ever, there is a new wave of feminist erotica that gives porn a whole other twist. The old clichés of porn are being cast aside for a fresh vision of sex in more artistic portrayals that cater to a female perspective.

Erotica for Women

In general, women find the less-is-more line of thinking more stimulating than a heavy-handed, often hardcore approach when it comes to sexual arousal. Although female sexuality still has its mysterious side, graphic scenes of men having no-holds-barred sexual intercourse with women might not be as gratifying to watch as the suggestion of this inevitable encounter.

So sexy stories, erotic poetry and provocative music may be just the trick to make women feel that delicious, sexual excitement.

However, because women are turned on in a multitude of ways, an understated approach to arousal might not be enough for some individuals. Luckily, there are a number of Web sites that cater to female desires, which you may not have ever heard of until now.

{relatedarticles} is one such site that could get you in the mood without showing a single naked body part. The idea behind it is to show people from the neck up who are masturbating themselves to the ultimate orgasm. These are videos of real men and women from around the world, all shot in the same way. takes female-friendly fare to a whole other place. It's basically a forum for women to post anonymous, nude photos of themselves. No matter what their reason for sharing, the site provides a wide variety of women of all shapes, sizes, ethnicities and ages.

If you're looking for photographs that are more erotic in a movie-like style, then LeChagrin may be the site for you. It's photos with a classy feel that just might make you feel that tingle of sexual interest yourself. also offers some erotic resources you can check out anytime. Not only does it have an intriguing guide to direct interested women to good porn, but it also provides its own sex products.


Every Woman Is Different

The most fascinating aspect of female sexuality is that there is no one size fits all. Every woman has different sexual desires, which means that not all styles of porn will elicit the same reaction.

Some women are turned on by passionate kissing or gay sex or an emotional sexcapade with a wholesome-looking guy who could live next door. It all depends on the woman and what kind of sexual portrayal sets off her hot buttons. A woman's arousal is highly subjective. It's rare that it fits into the generic mold that's peddled for the overall consumer in the mainstream market.

The fact that female-friendly adult fare can't fit into a nice, neat category is both an attractive challenge and extremely frustrating at the same time. However, its diversity means there's a great potential to make and sell a wide variety of female-driven porn throughout the world.


This is a virtually untapped reservoir that could translate into millions, even billions, of dollars while also giving women a sexual outlet that may just lead to an ecstasy that's never been experienced before.

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Romantic Movies Your Partner Will Love

There's nothing like a night of chick-flicks with your girlfriends but watching movies with your man can be a completely different story. Instead of suffering through another slasher or action film, try these picks that will put you both in a romantic mood and can satisfy your need for sap and his need for masculinity.

High Fidelity - After John Cusak's character is dumped, he spends the rest of the movie contacting his ex-girlfriends to figure out where he's gone wrong. From the awkward to the hilarious and tragic, they all bring him back to where he belongs. Aside from a sweet and engaging story line the soundtrack has something for everyone and is one of the first big-screen appearances of Jack Black, and what guy doesn't love him?


The 40-Year-Old Virgin - While this may come to mind as a comedy at first, there is an underlying love story that shows the beauty of innocence and new love. Any male will love this movie as it's stocked with the usual sex jokes and unrefined humor of Judd Apatow movies, but there is enough of a romantic storyline to keep you interested - even if you snort-laugh along the way.

Groundhog Day - The Bill Murray classic is a funny and heartfelt take on the rom-com with an interesting storyline that hasn't been replicated. You'll be quoting Murray's witty quips for days after this one.

The Princess Bride - A cult classic that should belong in anyone's movie collection. This eccentric medieval fantasy flick is a lighthearted and heroic love adventure that both guys and girls will love and have fun remembering the times they've watched it growing up.

Forrest Gump - Along with being a story of romance, this epic spans action, comedy, and drama; however, the heart of the story lies in Forrest's undying love for his Jenny, which will make you tear up and believe in the earnest power of love all over again.{relatedarticles}

Bridget Jones's Diary - A refreshing take on the female role in the romantic comedy. Bridget Jones smokes, drinks, and curses, which is sure to appeal to your man, and every girl melts when Colin Firth's Mark Darcy utters the line "I like you just as you are."

Just Friends - A classic tale of reunited childhood sweethearts with a comedic twist. Everyone can relate to coming home for holidays and running into exes, but this one capitalizes on the humor of the situation while giving you hope that your unrequited love may still have a chance.

Titanic - Whether or not your guy digs the story of star-crossed lovers, Jack and Rose, he'll certainly appreciate the magnificent sweeping shots of the ship and when Kate Winslet infamously poses for her portrait.

Pretty Woman - The prostitute with a heart of gold, Julia Roberts, seduces businessman Richard Gere in an unlikely Cinderella story. Part comedy, part passion with classic 80s styling - this is one you'll both enjoy.

Legends of the Fall - Get your tissues out for this tearjerker. Brad Pitt and Anthony Hopkins carry this tragic story about not only love but family in a time of war.{relatedarticles}

Pearl Harbor - This has war scenes and planes for him and a love story and hunky dudes for you. If your dude is a history buff, he'll also enjoy the movie's historically accurate take on the events that led up to Pearl Harbor.

Love Actually - This British rom-com will keep your attention with an ever-changing and intertwined storyline that's both humorous and heartfelt. It can also double as a holiday movie to watch while you get cozy by the Christmas tree.

50 First Dates - Most guys love Adam Sandler and this movie can indulge their taste for boyish and silly humor while pleasing you with a cute but campy tale of a loveable Drew Barrymore.

Hitch - Will Smith and Kevin James' hilarious adventure in learning to be a ladies man provides side-splitting moments along with sentimental ones.

He's Just Not That Into You - Based on a book written for women by a man - how could your guy not love it? This comedic and realistic advice movie is sure to be a winner for movie night.


When Harry Met Sally - An 80s classic that takes on the questions "Can a man and woman ever be just friends?" You'll be on the edge of your seat waiting the whole movie when the "will they or won't they?" tension finally comes to an end. The adorable love stories in-between scenes are sure to steal your heart as well.

Shakespeare in Love - A smoldering and passionate story with an all-star cast of Gwyneth Paltrow, Judi Dench, and Ben Affleck, this classic tale of love, loss, and tragedy will not disappoint.

Something's Gotta Give - Your guy will love a classic, cool, and crazy Jack Nicholson while the ladies will swoon over the always romantic and endearing, Diane Keaton.

Never Been Kissed - Enjoy the awkwardness and pain of reliving high school crushes and prom all-over again with another winning Drew Barrymore feature.

The Wedding Singer - Another Sandler and Barrymore team-up that's as funny as it is sweet and you'll be dancing in your seat with the great and upbeat 80s soundtrack.


Atonement - This book adaption is a beautiful but tragic film about an ill-fated relationship during the pre-WWI era. You'll be left wanting more from this sad but soulful encounter acted out wonderfully by James McAvoy and Keira Knightley.

Romeo and Juliet - This updated and modern version starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Claire Danes keeps with the heartfelt sentiment of the original play but switches things up with a fast-paced, colorful rendition complete with a contemporary soundtrack.

10 Things I Hate About You - The late Heath Ledger stars in this romantic comedy based on the The Taming of the Shrew. This coming of age love story is also bursting with one-liners and silly moments.

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