Once you have both agreed on moving forward, there are steps you can take together to begin the healing process:

• participate in counseling individually and as a couple;
• make new rules and set new boundaries about your relationship going forward;{relatedarticles}
• realize that your relationship might never go back to "normal" and that trust is not rebuilt overnight;
• spend time doing special activities together as a couple to help revive the spark; and
• be honest with yourself - is the relationship truly over? Do you have the willpower to make sure it doesn't happen again?

It's perfectly normal to feel guilt and shame after participating in an emotional affair, but remember that you are only human. Beating yourself up forever can hinder your ability to repair your relationship and lead a happy life. Unfortunately, even with the best counseling and communication, your spouse or partner may choose to end the relationship if he or she cannot recover from the anger and pain of the emotional affair. If this occurs, it is important not to complicate matters by begging the partner to stay or beginning to stalk or follow him or her. Work with a counselor or trusted advisor on the next steps of your life. This incident doesn't have to be a life sente