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Communication Basics

Almost anyone can make small talk, but genuine communication can be difficult to master. When it comes to topics in which we're invested emotionally, it can be hard to slow down, use logic and hear the other person's side. Difficulty with communication can be attributed to many factors, many of which can be traced back to our own childhoods. People who grew up in families where discussing feelings was directly or indirectly discouraged, or who witnessed "discussions" that were actually full-blown fights might not have had any exposure to what healthy communication should sound like.

Men, in general, communicate in different ways than we do. They tend to want to fast forward to a solution, while women prefer to take the time to talk things through. There are also differences in body language, for example, a woman may nod frequently while listening to her partner speak to show that she's paying attention, while a man may stay still while listening. This can lead to some confusion, with a woman left thinking the man wasn't paying attention, and the man assuming he'd received agreement from the woman instead of simple acknowledgement.

While these gender communication differences don't apply 100% to all men and women, they should be kept in mind when discussing the kids with your spouse.

While an article can't tell you specifically how to handle your particular child-rearing disagreement, you'd do well to use some basic skills for communication and negotiation.