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True romance is based on loving the whole person, not just skin-deep but soul-deep. Its a feeling of profound connection based on the sense that you share fundamental values, fundamental views about yourselves and the world. For example: Is the world a place of adventure or a place that inspires fear? Does each of you want to grow in your knowledge and skills or just stay the same? Do you feel “in sync” emotionally? Here are seven secrets to making romance last a lifetime.
- You first need moral character: honesty, integrity, independent judgment, a sense of justice, earned pride in yourself. Without this there can be no trust.
- You need a genuine (not a fake) ego. If you are selfless, there is nothing to love. A person with an ego has their own (rational) values, things they stand for, things they love, things they want for themselves. Each partner needs to support the other’s values.
- You need to share some common values and interests -- over and above moral values -- things you both like to see and do together.
- You need compatible personalities -- you don’t both have to be the same but you need to mesh so that you make each other feel understood and appreciated.
