[LEFT BOTTOM]
Spouseless and the Holidays
|
|
|
2. Remind yourself that time not only heals the heart, but will also in time reveal the journey to follow. Accept that life will never be the same and allow yourself to embrace the wisdom that will come from change. Your new life will begin to emerge if you allow it to show up unannounced.
3. Don't make any big decisions: don't move, don't sell things, don't buy anything and certainly don't give anything away. Wait a year before you unravel your environment and change your surroundings. You have to find comfort in the environment you shared together before you can let it go.
|
4. People will try to comfort you in many ways. One of those ways may be to offer you aids to help you sleep or deaden the pain. For me, I chose to feel every bit of the pain that came my way because I believe that numbing the pain will prolong it and keep you from experiencing the depth of your emotions. The sooner you feel it and face it, you'll have the courage to accept it and the painful void becomes tolerable. This is what I chose for myself. If you, however, are someone who may need some help in this regard, get it from your physician or other qualified professional, not a friend or family member.
5. Don't be a martyr. What I mean by this is to let your family or close friends take care of you. If they offer, accept. And if they don't, ask for what you need. I did. If someone offers to make your bed and comb your hair, let them! You will forever remember these acts of kindness and who was there when you needed them the most. Same goes for anything you are traditionally responsible for at the holidays -- dinners, baking, presents. Some folks feel they should make the effort "for the sake of the family"-- no one needs the reminder about "what's different this year," and others may not be sure how to be involved. Instead, allow others to pick up these responsibilities while you focus on cherishing the time you spend with them.
|
|
|
|