2- Focus 80% of your energy on the solution and 20% of the problem. This really applies to anything in life, if you focus on the problem, then all you'll be able to see is the problem, and your mind will be limited in what options it can give you. However when you see a solution in your mind while acknowledging the problem, your mind is much more useful in helping you out.

3- If your spouse isn't cooperating, it doesn't mean that's it. Sometimes your spouse might have been harboring long term resentment that keeps on getting fueled by certain actions you might be completely unaware of. The key is to be patient, because it is possible to reverse the situation, as things do come through but a bit slower than expected, because your spouse needs to feel that the new you is for real, and not some temporary fix.

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4- Look inside yourself. It is normal to be selfish in certain matters, but often our selfishness affects our spouse. Most times we can't see it as emotionally draining for our partner in marriage, so we really need to reflect, ask ourselves questions, maybe we are doing something our partner has complained numerous occasions but we just failed to see it, because we were so in tuned with ourselves.

The key is to identify it, and if you find yourself saying: "but I have a right to do so" or "they get to do the things they like and I don't say anything about it" then you are asking the wrong questions. The right questions always replace "me" with "we", when you see things from a married couple's perspective instead of your own, everything changes. And don't worry, your spouse is likely to meet you half way once they see a shift in you and new hope.