The Chemistry Illusion 

We women try to take this thing we call chemistry – even though it's chemistry with a man who isn't good for us – and we interpret that feeling as "wow, this is somebody, this is something." 

We mistake how good a date went for what a man is feeling. We guess that if there was chemistry and he showed interest, then he must be available, he must want a relationship, and he must want it with us! But we're really just guessing all these things about a man we know almost nothing about. 

What's more, if you have strong chemical feelings for a guy right away, that's an instant sign that something is wrong – this is the basis of codependency.  You're attaching a lot of meaning to very little substance and creating a fantasy. Chemistry is not a magic emotion: it is something that builds over time when you feel safe with someone and you build intimacy. 

So if you can't go by your chemical intuition, what can you trust? Follow a much simpler route: