Maintaining Your Adult Relationships

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Sex and Romance

Immediately following the birth of your first baby, you and your partner were probably humbled and dumbstruck by the incredible experience you just went through. You may have had complicated emotions of shock, amazement and intense love for each other and this new person you brought into the world.

Sex wasn't part of the picture, but that didn't matter; you were setting out on this life-changing journey together, and 6 weeks would be over before you knew it. Little did you know that 6 weeks would turn into several months, with the return of the old passion nowhere in sight.

You're definitely not alone. Most couples experience some lag in their sex life after they have a child. When people are sleepless, grumpy, and trying to adapt to a new presence in the house, it's difficult to feel sexy. Even after the child gets older, the drought may continue. Your new role as parents can make you feel different about everything, including each other. Not that you no longer love one another, but things are just...different.

You want the old passion back, but don't know how to get it. Some improvement may happen naturally over time, but you may have to help it along.

Accept the new situation. It may not be easy, but the first step in getting over the obstacle is to acknowledge that it's there and that it's normal. Have a conversation about the way things are, how you feel about it, and how you'd like things to be improved.